I want to let you all know who am I before me now. If you want to take lesson, read this. Let me begin my story with where I am from? People keep confuse when I say, I am from sandakan, grow up in tenom.. bla bla bla, its complicated man!
10 year ago, I am unconfident person. I hate to talk to other person. So, I was dissociated from society, I have a bad depression and I don’t talk much to my family since I growth up in hostel. I don’t have a lot of friend. My family have a big expectation to me until they found I failed in form 6 and they punished me- dissociate me from society, but they don’t know I am already have my own world. I think nonsense , I thought my family didn’t love me…
I have to take medicine to control myself from doing bad thing… you know what I mean..
After 6 month lock up in my house, I decide to move to other country. I choose Kelantan. Firstly, my family didn’t agree. But, I keep pursued them.. Even I will be alone on there, I know I will be fine.
Living in new place, culture, with a new friend and different food realize me something… for all the bad thing that happen in my life, what is that? Why me?
I have to be a new man, new person and I choose to change my religion, change my name but keep it secretly from my family in Sabah. Long journey to be a good women – afraid I cannot control my emotion, I keep control my manner in front of my new friend, my lecturer.. But, sometime I have to fight for my right. And the bad thing I had did last time is I buy a friend. Consequent? It give a big scar in my heart, you know. I keep active in social group such as student association group, perkim… mpp, group usrah.. And anything. I did not feel exhausted. I keep improving my personality. The another way I did is by reading a lot of book, newspaper and motivation book, then I share to other people what I read-that are another way to socialize with others. The new me actually frightening me! I tend to talk much, very much and uncontrollable. I know I am easily depressed with my life and the good way I am doing is talk much, reveal my emotion through the word.
There are advantage to be a talkative… I am difficult to show my weaknesses. I keep showing to people surrounding me – my strongest than my weaknesses.
I start to be confident… until I enter this university.
Learning process to be a good person is not easy. Sometime, I have to be silence in room but very outspoken at outside. Here, I did it. I don’t talk a lot in this class because my english so broken. People out from this group know me, I have a big mouth.
Poor thing, talk too much is bad for my health actually. Easily fall in trust to somebody make me tend to reveal how bad am I in the past. I thought she is a good friend but she is back stab me… the lesson, find a good friend doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your originality personality and reveal all your dark side…but, keep it and win them in a good way… believe your talent.
Yeah, certain of you know I am bad in stress management. I easily to get piss off due to small thing and I am trying to improve it, I mean… controlling it.
We are student, must have a bit of deep thinking about where we want to go after graduate? CGPA is important but actually in real life outside, it’s only a jumping point to get the job. How we get a job? We selling ourselves, our talent out there. Get some attention.
As a small task, take out a pieces of paper. A paper that you can keep in your wallet. Hurry up! I call this a game of throne sorry! A game of life. Okay, write now what in your mind… where you want to go or what you want to be in your life.
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Okay, done?
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I challenge you all, as my lovely sister and brother… keep that paper in your wallet for a while. Don’t open it and don’t show it to other people even to your wife, husband, couple and parent… then lets together open it in next 2 year after graduate, in this date, this time… do you get that or not? Thank you!
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